Ask Amy: Secret dinner sparks jealousy

Dear Amy: I've always told my fianceé "Stacy" to stay in touch with her old friends from before we met. I know of her male friends and had met most of them, or so I thought.

Stacy and I recently had a break in our relationship, lasting for about two months, during which she moved out and was staying with her brother. When we finally reconciled, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right.

Finally, she revealed that she went out to dinner with an old friend, a male.

I think this was more than just dinner, but she denies any physical interaction with this person. She said that she felt guilty about going out with him. She deleted all communication between them before telling me about this.

I cannot understand all of the lying, hiding and secrecy. She gets so upset with me whenever I bring it up. But things don't feel right. I do love her and want to be with her, but I can't shake the feeling that there is still something that she is not telling me.

I asked her if I could meet this guy. I don't want my actions to ruin our relationship, but also realize that her actions put us here in the first place. Am I overreacting?

Amy says: This sounds like the famous "we were on a break" episode of "Friends."

Your take on this seems to be that Stacy needs your permission to meet with people or have friendships. She doesn't.

She has admitted to feeling guilty about this, and so you could ask her why she feels guilty. She might say that she knew that this would hurt your feelings — and clearly she is right.

Overall, you should always follow your gut, but you also should give this some time to resolve without pressuring her. If you don't push, Stacy might be less defensive and feel compelled to open up more.

Dear Amy: I met someone on a dating app. She was in my city for work. She even asked me over for a booty call, but I didn't go.

We kept talking, and so I asked to meet in-person in her town. She ghosted me. Three months later, she texted me saying she accidentally ghosted me because she broke her leg and was on pain medicine and bed rest, but now was doing better.

I suggested meeting again in her town, and she didn't respond for three weeks. She then said her leg got worse and it wasn't a good time.

I confronted her in an e-mail and told her the behavior wasn't acceptable. She didn't respond. I have followed up three more times.

I don't want to burn this bridge because I still really like her. I want to forgive, but she treated me terribly. What should I do?

Amy says: There are signs you seem to have missed: She would see you only when she was in your town (not in hers). She always controlled the contact with you and claimed to have ghosted you "by accident." (That just doesn't happen.)

My theory is that she already is in a relationship. But even if she isn't, she is a jerk. You deserve better.