Ask Amy: Quilt maker needled by expectations

Dear Amy: A few years ago, I offered to make a Tt-shirt quilt as a graduation gift for a co-worker's oldest son. She purchased the materials, and I provided the skill and labor.

She and her son were thrilled with the quilt, and she mentioned that I would have to make two more down the road for the graduations of her other sons. I was taken aback with this expectation, but didn't say anything.

I retired soon after that and had minimal contact with her. A year later, however, when her middle child was graduating, she contacted me to ask if I would make the same type of quilt for this son, which I did.

I haven't had any contact with her since that son's graduation. Now two years later, her last child will be graduating this upcoming spring, and I am anticipating that she will expect me to make him a quilt.

I would gladly give him a reasonable monetary gift instead of providing hours of labor on a quilt, which equates into a generous gift for someone I don't have a relationship with. How can I kindly tell her that I don't intend to offer my handiwork.

Amy says: A polite "no" is brief, neutral and does not offer a list of reasons, which might come off as excuses.

Should this issue surface again, my suggestion is to respond: "I'm no longer able to do this, but congratulations on your son's graduation. Hello, empty nest!"

Dear Amy: I'm a man in my mid-30s. I have a younger female friend, "Emma," who is an introvert. There's no romantic interest between us — just a great friendship.

The problem is that I'm more of an extrovert than she is. Recently, we've hit a rough patch. She believes that I text her too much. I'm not trying to annoy her. I just want to talk to her. I don't want to overwhelm her, but I don't want to feel like I'm forgotten.

How do you think I can compromise?

Amy says: You state that you don't want to feel like you're forgotten, but if your friendship is solid, secure and balanced, you wouldn't have this fear.

You should ask Emma what she believes a good compromise would be, and then you should respect her boundary. You two might do best by scheduling a regular call, FaceTime, or text exchange. She might not feel crowded, and you would be reassured that your friendship is valued and viable.

This brought back a childhood memory. When my aunt got married in the 1960s, she only invited children over the age of 9. I had two cousins who made the cut, while seven of us did not.

We youngsters attended the church ceremony and spent the rest of the day with babysitters, while our parents went to the grown-up reception. We all survived.

Amy says: Your response makes me smile. I picture your group of seven excluded children, grouchily drinking Tang out of paper cups while saying, "Curse you, Aunt Denise!"