Ask Amy: Paperwork crucial for military honors

Dear Amy: My father died three weeks ago. After his death, I talked with a close friend whose father died in 2007.

Our experiences inspired me to write to you, and I ask you to please publish this as an alert to all veterans and to their immediate families: Please keep your military discharge papers in a safe place, and be sure your family members know where these documents are located!

Our fathers were veterans who were buried with full military honors, but they were almost denied that right because of bureaucratic issues.

In both cases, the funeral homes contacted the VA for our fathers' discharge papers, only to be told that the VA had no record of their service. (Some years ago, a fire destroyed a VA building, which might explain why some records were lost.)

Without those papers, it was impossible to prove they had served, and without that proof, neither of our families could have had the honor guard at our fathers' funerals. Fortunately, an employee of the office that stored some of my father's documents found his discharge papers and got them to the funeral home just in time for the honor guard to be arranged.

My friend's father had been active in a veterans organization whose members were able to arrange the honor guard on his behalf. But for both our families, it was very stressful.

It's never easy to discuss topics like these ahead of time, but if you or your family members were in the service, please get this straight before the need arises. I don't want anyone else to go through what we did.

I also offer your advice in honor of my Uncle Bud, whose funeral I attended last week. In addition to being a wonderful man, he was a very proud veteran of World War II, after which he served in the Merchant Marine.

The honor guard ceremony Uncle Bud received was so beautiful, dignified and moving. Every service member who has served honorably also deserves an honorable final send-off.

Military One Source (militaryonesource.mil) has a guide of eligibility for military honors. This does not include only members of the military. Members of the Commissioned Officers Corps of the Public Health Service and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration also are eligible.

Dear Amy: What can I say to people who unnecessarily idle their cars while sitting in a parking lot? We do not need more pollution!

These idlers are generally not happy when I knock on their window and bring up the subject. What firm but polite words can I use?

Amy says: Unless there is a human or animal in the car waiting while the car's owner dashes into the pharmacy for some life-saving medication, there is no justification for an empty car to sit idling.

According to the Department of Energy (afdc.energy.gov), researchers estimate that "idling from heavy-duty and light-duty vehicles combined wastes about 6 billion gallons of fuel annually. About half of that is attributable to personal vehicles, which generate around 30 million tons of CO2 every year just by idling. While the impact of idling may be small on a per-car basis, the impact of the 250 million personal vehicles adds up."