Ask Amy: MYOB should guide friendship

Dear Amy: I am a 60-year-old conservative male. I don't believe that transitioning to another gender is the answer to gender dysphoria. My views are in line with my very conservative perspective.

My best friend "Martin's" child (born male) is transitioning to female at the age of 25. Because I value Martin's friendship, I refer to his child as "your daughter," and I use his daughter's new name and refer to her with female pronouns.

The only advice I have given is to get a second opinion before she undergoes any surgery (which is advice I would give to everyone before any surgery). Other than that, I keep my mouth shut about my opinions.

Some of my church friends think that I should be preaching to Martin about the evils of being transgender. On the other hand, my liberal friends think I need to be more of an ally to the LGBTQ community.

I think that I'm doing the best I can to support my friend, and I don't notice any tension between the two of us. What's your view on how I should interact with my friend?

Amy says: -My first reaction is to wonder why you're concerned about the views of so many people regarding your relationship with your closest friend.

I agree with you that interacting with Martin should continue to reflect your close friendship, without you feeling pressured to preach to him on your or your church's positions regarding gender.

Over time, I have developed friendships with a few fellow dog owners. Recently, one of my closer park buddies (a professional dog walker I'll refer to as Friend One) arrived with an air horn. She claims it's for the safety of the dogs in the event of a scuffle.

It does seem to work, although fights are very rare at this park. The problem is that it scares the heck out of another friend's (Friend Two) beloved and non-aggressive pooch.

Friend Two nicely asked Friend One to refrain from honking while her dog was present. Now Friend One won't show if Friend Two is on-site. I enjoy the company of all involved, and this little disagreement has made my daily outings awkward. Should I intervene?

Amy says: I assume that being near an escalating dog fight could be at least as traumatic for a shy dog as an air horn would be.

But "Friend One" is respecting "Friend Two's" nicely worded request and is steering clear of the park when the "non-aggressive" dog is present. To me, that seems like a solution. You might feel better if you saw it this way, too, and just focused on enjoying your doggie time.