Ask Amy: Mean teasing is no laughing matter

Dear Amy: My husband has always had a creative and witty sense of humor, and we have spent many hours in our decade-long marriage laughing until our eyes water. I love the fact that he has the ability to make people laugh.

However, he has gone from poking fun at me in a funny way to just being mean. For instance, he will pretend he's limping, dragging his foot behind him and groaning — this started over two years ago when I was briefly hobbled by a broken foot.

Another example started during a time when we were playing a trivia game with friends. I blanked on the name of one of my favorite actresses, and ever since then he has called me "Movie Buff" followed by a slur used to insult mentally challenged people.

Those and other comments he makes feel like an attack on my values and personality. They persist daily, to the point where our children (all under 10) mirror this behavior.

He knows this bothers me and continues, regardless. How do I address this issue? And where does this behavior come from?

Amy says: Nothing about these comments is witty or even classifiable as humor. I can almost imagine how your husband impersonating you hobbling on your broken foot might have been sort-of "cute" at one point, but that point has long passed.

And using a slur directed at you or anyone else is nothing but lowbrow cruel bullying. This is not teasing — it is using a verbal taser to disrespect others, wound you and to put you down.

You should calmly and privately explain to him that this behavior needs to end. Tell him that this is hurting your feelings, disrespecting you and setting a terrible example that the children are starting to follow. (Always stop and correct the children if they do this.)

Be forewarned that your husband might accuse you of being too sensitive and could weaponize this for another round of his hilarity.

If he doesn't change the way he treats you, pull him into marriage counseling. I hesitate in suggesting that this behavior is a marriage-ender, but you should ask yourself if you want to live with this level of arrogant disrespect long into the future.

Dear Amy: My middle-aged daughter jumps from job to job and asks me at least two or three times a week for money.

I feel sorry for her and give her what she wants, but recently I wasn't able to send her any money because I had sent her about $1,100 over six weeks. She harassed me to the point that I had to block her calls and texts.

This has affected my health mentally and physically, not to mention the financial hardship. I now realize that she is only nice to me if I am giving her money.

Is it OK to take a break from your own daughter temporarily — or maybe forever — if the situation seems hopeless?

Amy says: Yes, it is OK to take a break. This relationship is harming you, and so you need to protect yourself by removing access.

Your daughter might have a gambling or drug problem. If you hear from her, other than urging her to get professional help, you should keep your distance.