Dear Amy: I am a recovering alcoholic. I moved in with my sister. She and I got into a fight, so I moved out and I asked my daughter if I could stay with her and her husband until I found a place. They let me stay with them, but they were angry about it.
After two weeks with them I moved back in with my sister, which was a mistake. To make a long story short, I started drinking again and tried to kill myself.
I went to a behavioral health center and got help. That was four years ago. Now I am sober, attending AA meetings on a regular basis and doing great, but my daughter and son-in-law still won't talk to me.
I have been sending cards to them for birthdays and Christmas. I don't know what else to do. My daughter is my only child. What is your advice for a very troubled mother?
Amy says: You have been through a lot, and your family members have also been put through the wringer. You are participating in your continued recovery by attending AA meetings (good for you!), so presumably you are familiar with the ninth step in this famous 12-step program. This has to do with making amends to people you and your addiction have harmed.
Have you made sincere amends to the people in your life? If not, you should do so now, asking these family members to tell you whatever is on their hearts, and hopefully to embark on their own path toward forgiveness.
After making these efforts, you should then continue to work on rebuilding your life and embrace your own willingness to forgive — both them and yourself.
Trite or meaningful?
Dear Amy: I am wondering whether I am being too sensitive. My mother and sister passed away a year ago. Both had terminal cancer and suffered enormously before passing away.
