Ask Amy: Fired worker wants to torch the boss

Dear Amy: I am 58 and was recently laid off. My company hired someone to turn around the department, and she failed miserably. The company terminated her and got rid of me and another coworker at the same time.

I guess it worked out well for them because the other fired coworker and I were outspoken about what was going on in our department. We knew the new business model would fail, and it did.

The hiring manager who created this mess is a nightmare. She is cruel, condescending and a narcissist.

This person needs to be told off, and I want to be the one to do it. Should I express myself, copying her manager and the CEO? Or should I let it go and move on?

Amy says: Definitely write the letter. Get it all out! Tape the letter to your refrigerator for a week so that every time you reach for the milk, you see it. Grrrr; you really let her have it!

And then, when you've worked through your rage about this, destroy the letter and move on with the next phase of your life.

You "knew the new business model would fail, and it did." You were outspoken about problems while you were working there. Given the company's choice to excise your team, they must be aware of the issues that affected it.

Dear Amy: I am friends with a single mother who works two low-wage jobs. There are some months when she can't pay her bills. I have loaned her money many times.

It's like pulling teeth to get my money back. She seems to feel that because I get a decent retirement check and am on Social Security, I don't need my money back.

Also, whenever we go out to eat, she feels like I should always pick up the tab.

I worked for 33 years to earn that retirement check. And the state where I live has one of the highest costs of living in the country, so I need to be careful with my money. How can I get her to understand that?

Amy says: I think that your expectations of this hardworking single mom are unreasonable. She is barely keeping her head above water, and in helping her, you also are helping her children. You should feel good about that.

Dear Amy: I strongly disagree with your support for the letter writer who objected to her mother setting boundaries while in the hospital.

As a mother with adult daughters, I have a right to limit hospital visits and to have my medical privacy respected — no matter how well-meaning my daughters may be.

Plus, what absolute ageism to automatically assume that this mother is incapable of handling her own care.

Amy says: You make great points, but I did suggest that this daughter respect her mother's wish for privacy. I also suggested communication about her care. And age had nothing to do with it. I suggest the same thing for anyone — regardless of age — during a hospitalization.