Ask Amy: Family flights turn into nail-biters

Dear Amy: When we travel, I like to be at the airport with time to spare, so I don't mind sitting for even an hour before boarding. My wife, on the other hand, loves to cut it close.

It's like she goes into slow motion at home on the day of the flight. She seems to find a million last-minute things to do. I help, but we still end up battling the clock.

We have missed one flight outright and caught another only because we left the luggage in the car and ran straight to the boarding gate. But even the flights we catch become nail-biters.

We solved a monthly family gathering issue of how long to stay by taking separate cars. I can leave after a couple of hours, and she can stay as long as she wants. But a solution to the flying issue eludes us.

After the missed flight she did better for a time, but my nails are getting shorter again. Your advice?

Amy says: I'm getting anxious just reading about your wife's behavior. You left your luggage behind in order to run for the plane? Yikes.

If I were you, I would take your flight (with your luggage). Get your own transportation to the airport within your comfort zone, enjoy your magazine at the gate, and if your wife races in and makes the plane, great. If not, she'll have to sort it out on her own.

If your wife experiences some nail-biters on her own, she might modify her behavior.

Dear Amy: My sister (60) and her daughter (28) are having a dispute. My niece went to grad school in another country and has opted to stay there, perhaps for as long as a few more years.

My niece is happy, and everyone is supportive of that. But with her being a young, single woman far away (five-hour time difference), her mom is constantly worrying about her.

My sister has made a few visits to see her, and my niece gets back home often. However, my sister feels that it's rude of my niece not to respond to texts from her. She believes it's not too much to ask my niece for a daily text to make sure she's all right (meaning, basically, alive). She's not asking for a lengthy report; she'd be thrilled with just a thumbs up emoji.

My niece believes that touching base two or three times a week is enough. This is causing a rift. Plus, it hurts my sister that her daughter wouldn't want to know that her mother is alive and well, too.

Amy says: Back in the day, if you wanted to check in with an overseas relative, you would wait for that tissue-paper airmail letter to land in your mailbox. Or you would have a weekly call to catch up.

My point is that just because we have the ability to be in constant contact doesn't mean we must do so. People seem to have lost the capacity to manage their anxieties.

Your niece is not serving in a war zone. Constantly worrying about whether a 28-year-old woman is alive seems excessive, as is expecting this daughter to worry every day about whether her mother is alive.

However, because this dynamic exists, yes, I do agree that the daughter should acknowledge her mother's daily texts.