Ask Amy: Couple wants only 'classy' PDAs

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been happily married for over 20 years. We have a question about how to handle an issue with friends of ours. "Jake" is 56 and "Lucy" is 52. My wife and I are 50 and 53.

Both Jake and Lucy are getting divorced after having been married to their exes for over 25 years.

They have been dating for a couple of months now. My wife and I think this is great, but we are both uncomfortable with their behavior.

Lucy shares far too many intimate details with my wife about her sex life. My wife says it makes her feel uneasy. Jake does the same thing with me, but to a much lesser degree.

Another problem is that they are all over each other like slutty teenagers in public. It gets even worse when the four of us are hanging out in our backyard.

We totally support public displays of affection when done with class, but we draw the line at borderline sex acts in our kitchen right in front of us. PDAs should always be classy, not gross and slutty.

Do you have any advice on how to politely ask Jake and Lucy to cut out the pornography and set some limits on what are appropriate actions when they are together in our presence?

It is common to overshare when you're in the beginning stages of a compelling emotional/sexual relationship, whether you are a teenager or a middle-age divorcee. And the problem with couples behaving this way publicly is that it completely excludes others, turning witnesses into an audience.

If pornographic displays have erupted in your backyard, your kitchen, or elsewhere on your property, you can good-naturedly say a version of: "Hey, don't make me get out the hose," or "Whoa, get a room, you two!"

Privately, you and your wife should honestly tell your (respective) friends, "We are so happy for you. It is obvious that you are really into each other, but some of the conversation about your sexual relationship and some of the more graphic public displays of affection are making me uncomfortable."

Dear Amy: I have drawn and painted for most of my life. I recently drew a picture of my beautiful daughter.

She seemed to be delighted when she saw it. I did not hear much from her about it, so I asked her how her husband liked it. She told me that he said he thought the drawing looked like me. Not a very flattering comment, but honest.

I am OK that they do not like the drawing. Not everyone likes the same type of art, but I would like to have my drawing back, since it means more to me than to them. Is it a problem if I ask for it back?

Amy says: You should not ask for the drawing back. You should not cast aspersions on your daughter, who received the drawing and has hung it in their guesthouse, where others will see it.

When your son-in-law remarked that the drawing looked like you, it doesn't seem to have occurred to you that you and your daughter resemble one another, and that this might be a thoughtful (and flattering) comment.

Furthermore, you are way too sensitive to share your art with others. I hope you will enjoy your hobby privately.