Ask Amy: Claim to fame needs more proof

Dear Amy: I am a 68-year-old professional woman with advanced degrees. I have a very successful career, a loving husband and great family and friends.

I was adopted at birth by my biological mother's older sister and her husband. My parents gave me an amazing life full of love and opportunities.

I grew up knowing my biological mom, and I spent some time with her over the years. When I was a teenager, she asked me if I wanted to meet my biological father, and I declined. I thought it would be an insult to the wonderful father who raised me.

My biological mom died young, and now my parents also are gone. I found out recently from my mother's other sister that my biological father also was the father of a very famous entertainer.

I also learned that my biological father was married at the time I was conceived. My biological mother had an affair with him and fled back home to have the baby and willingly gave me up to her married and stable older sister.

Again, my life is great, and I don't want or need anything from this estranged "brother" — except maybe recognition. I grew up as an only child, so I was excited to learn I have a sibling.

But I now also face a dilemma: Should I contact this famous person to let him know that I'm his sister, or should I take it to my grave?

This is an enticing bit of hearsay, and your curiosity is understandable. However, you present no documentary or other evidence that this is true.

There are ways to investigate your parentage, ranging from documents to DNA. Having your DNA tested and researching your family's genealogy would be extremely useful. And, unlike many adopted people, you already know many biological family members. Start with the aunt who passed along this information to you; glean as much information and evidence from her as you can.

Keep in mind that famous entertainers occasionally have people approach them, claiming to be related. The more evidence you have (photos, letters, diaries, DNA), the better your chances are of getting past this brother's handlers.

Dear Amy: I'm in my mid-50s, and my weight has fluctuated over the years by about 25 pounds. I exercise regularly, eat well and am very healthy. Currently, I'm at the lower end of my weight spectrum.

Now, the issue: Whenever I see my mother-in-law (approximately every three months), her first comment will be something like, "Wow, you look so thin?" I know that she thinks that she is paying me a compliment, but I see this as evidence of an extreme focus on weight.

I don't like anyone saying anything about my body size — good or bad, friend or family, well-intentioned or not. What should I say when I receive these "compliments?"

Amy says: I respect your sensitivity about this, even though receiving well-intentioned (if misguided) "compliments" from a mother-in-law is a problem that other people might not mind having.

If you don't like receiving these comments, you can respond: "I know you mean well, but this makes me feel very self-conscious. Can you agree to not say anything at all about my weight?"