Dear Amy: Should I have to tell my boyfriend every single place I go during the day? Sometimes I just want to get out of the house. I'm a mother of two young boys. My oldest is in school, and I'm at home with my youngest.

I get the whole "respect" thing. I'm very respectful to my boyfriend. I love him very much. I can see that if I were going to places that were inappropriate, he'd be concerned, but I'm not.

Sometimes I'll just go to the Goodwill store or to visit my parents. My boyfriend tells me he feels that I lie to him because I don't tell him these things that my child and I do while he's at work.

I trust him, even though I just got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist a year ago. I still have a lot of things I need to work out within myself, but I don't want anyone else to try to control me.

What do you think?

Amy says: "How was your day?" and "What did you do today?" are both simple and respectful conversation-starters. The red flag here is if your boyfriend accuses you of lying when you neglect to fill in every detail of how you spent your time during the day.

It's time for you to ask a question: Does he need a complete accounting of how you spent your time? And, if so, why?

Given that you are recently out of a controlling relationship, it seems too soon for you to be in another serious relationship. You need to give yourself time to work on some personal issues, and the person you are with (when the time is right) not only should trust you completely, but should value your judgment, strength and independence.

Starting anew

Dear Amy: I married in 1980, at 17, three days after graduating from high school. I have spent the time since caring for my husband, children and grandchildren.

I'll be 60 this year, and this will mark two years of living alone for the first time in my life. I'm not a fan.

I don't know the rules of dating. Can you offer any advice or resource that can help?

Going to church to find a date just sounds wrong to me. I don't drink, so that knocks me out of the bar scene. I have an online ad up, but so far it just seems to attract scammers and ghosters.

Do you have any other ideas?

Amy says: My first idea is for my next business: A new algorithm that somehow prevents the dreaded "ghosting" phenomenon.

In terms of online matching, I am not sure what you mean by an "online ad," but I suggest that you try a variety of dating sites until you find one that results in a better yield for you. (Match.com and Eharmony.com both finished high in a 2021 US News ranking of sites for seniors.)

Online matching is a numbers game, unfortunately, and the phrase "kiss some frogs" comes to mind. Have a friend review your profile to make sure it reflects you at your best.

More important than matching with a romantic partner at 60 is for you to enrich your life. Go hiking, biking and bird-watching. Enroll in a class at community college. Volunteer to prepare and serve food for the hungry.

Do not do these things to meet men. Do these things to find yourself.

Also, if you truly do not like living alone, consider taking in a roommate or two. In my opinion, the Golden Girls were really onto something.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.