Dear Amy: Why does everything seem so bad at night?

For the last year or so I've found myself waking up from bad dreams almost every night. I start thinking about everyday issues regarding family, work, health, etc., and it all seems so overwhelming and urgent.

I put myself into panicked ruminations about these problems. When the sun comes up, I inevitably realize that everything I was worried about overnight is manageable by day.

The middle-of-the night bad thoughts are so bad that I can't or don't want to go back to sleep, so I put on the television and tune into an old, cheerful, and bright Hollywood musical. That eliminates the thoughts, but also eliminates the sleep.

Do you know why things seem so bad at night when they don't in the day? Also, do you know of anything that might help me to stop doing this?

Amy says: I suspect that your issue begins with your sleeping problem. If you were able to sleep through the night, you wouldn't have these anxious hours.

Your disordered sleep and nightmares could be brought on by anxiety, depression or medication. You should review any changes in your routine, diet or medical status that might cause this sleep interruption.

There are many holistic remedies for better sleep and some medications that might help you. This is from an article called "Nightmares and the Brain" published by Harvard Medical School (hms.harvard.edu):

"Psychological therapy for nightmares is called image rehearsal therapy, or IRT. In this form of cognitive therapy, individuals, especially those who repeatedly experience a given type of nightmare, are asked to recall and write down their nightmares, then asked to rewrite the nightmare and give it a positive ending. The individual then rehearses the rewritten version before going to sleep with the aim of displacing the unwanted content during sleep."

I hope you can give your own dreams happier endings.

Be a gracious recipient

Dear Amy: My wife and I were married last year. It was the first marriage for both of us, even though I am in my 60s and she is in her 50s.

Our friends and relatives know that we are financially secure. One of my relatives and his wife gave us a wedding gift consisting of an acknowledgment from a charitable organization of a $100 gift made in our names.

We are not opposed to this charity, but I'm not sure we would choose to contribute to it. My relative didn't check with us to make sure we would approve this donation. Is this a proper wedding gift?

Amy says: One advantage of being older newlyweds is that you have the financial stability, good sense, perspective and maturity not to create problems where none exist.

You don't report any problems created by this donation. So, yes, this was a thoughtful and appropriate gift. I hope you express your gratitude for it.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.