Amy: Woman dreads telling parents she's pregnant

Dear Amy: Recently my husband and I decided we wanted to have another baby. A few days ago we learned that I'm pregnant.

The problem is my parents. They ruined my whole first pregnancy. They were angry from the beginning, telling me to get an abortion up until I was almost five months along. At every chance they could, they would tell me how much I was ruining my life and how I would never accomplish anything.

I admit I was young (20 at the time), but I was married and in college, and my husband had a great job that allowed us to live on our own.

I'm terrified to tell them about the new baby. I dread it. I want a stress-free pregnancy, but I can't forget how cruel they were the first time.

How can I approach this in a way that is positive for everyone? I don't want to have to cut them out of my life until they finally come to terms with this new addition, but I can't handle the stress.

Amy says: Don't make any announcements until you are at least three months pregnant; this gives you time to enjoy your pregnancy privately with your husband (you might want to wait longer, or not tell them at all).

Remember that this is what you want. Your first pregnancy might have been unplanned; you were younger and more vulnerable to your parents' cruelty.

You might want to end the call. Of course, it is possible that they have changed, but if not, you will have to create a boundary. You should not have to tolerate comments such as they made last time. If they can't handle themselves, you can simply decline to discuss it further with them. One of the privileges of adulthood is that your parents don't get to tell you what to do.

Dear Amy: A letter writer asked a great question about when it is the "right time" to talk to kids about their bodies and share "the facts of life" with them.

The right time is — always and any time — throughout their childhood.

I started practicing "the talk" with all of our kids (three sons and one daughter) as I changed their diapers as newborns, using correct terminology because I was always afraid that I wouldn't start early enough and that I would get nervous.

Also, when I was pregnant we always explained to the children that the baby was in my uterus, and not in my "tummy."

Amy says: This is perfectly thoughtful and terrific parenting. Great job!