I was sitting at my desk, ready to start my new job, when my boss walked into my office and put a monkey carved from wood on my desk. The monkey was holding a phone against its ear. "Congratulations, you are now a phone monkey — start making those telephone calls for money," she barked cheerfully.
What was my new job? Telemarketer? Cold-call salesman? No, I was a political candidate. Just a few days before, I had launched my political candidacy in the Democratic primary in Arkansas for U.S. Congress. And my boss? She was my campaign consultant.
Four years ago, my campaign ended when I finished third of five candidates in the Democratic primary — but I had fun and learned a lot, especially about the role of money in politics.
I still have that wooden monkey in my office to remind me that candidates for Congress must spend a huge proportion of their time calling folks to ask for money.
During my run, I spent 70 percent to 80 percent of my time on the phone asking people for money. On one day, I made about 90 calls. But my campaign staff was constantly pushing me to make even more. In their view, my phone calls were too long — they wanted me to limit each one to just a couple of minutes. Usually, I would talk for more than 10 minutes, trying to connect personally with the potential donor but eating up precious time that I could have used to call others.
This kind of work is not glamorous and often discouraging. Before becoming a candidate, I had been a Justice Department attorney and chief of staff to a U.S. congressman. When I had those jobs, people returned my phone calls right away. Once I became a candidate, lots of people weren't so eager to call me back, because they knew I'd be asking for money.
One episode of HBO's fictional show "The Wire" portrays this campaign reality in a way unforgettable to me. Tommy Carcetti is running for mayor of Baltimore. Carcetti's campaign manager, Theresa D'Agostino, scolds him to get in a room and make phone calls to raise money.
In response, Carcetti goes into an expletive-laden rant about how much he hates making calls for money and shouts, "I can't do it anymore! I hate it! I hate it more than anything!" Ultimately, a staffer pushes Carcetti into an almost windowless office to make the calls and D'Agostino tells him he needs to raise $30,000 in the next three hours. "You hit your number or die in this room," she says as she walks out and locks the door.