Opinion | My biggest hesitation about moving back to the U.S. was — is — school shootings

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When my wife and I moved back to Minnesota in 2021, our biggest fear wasn’t winter. It wasn’t inflation, or even politics. It was school shootings.

I’d lived overseas for 13 years, met my Australian wife and we had our first child in 2020. Whenever we told people we were moving back, they asked, “So is this forever?”

My answer became, “Not forever. At least not until the kids go to school.”

It sounded glib, but it wasn’t. It was a way to cover the deep fear my wife and I shared. We worried this would happen in our neighborhood. And now it has.

The first text I got from my wife after the Annunciation Church shooting was: “What ... is wrong with the country?”

That question keeps me up at night.

Because we know what happens next. We’ve seen this cycle too many times. Within hours, the conversation turns to Second Amendment rights, to narrow legislation, to technical fixes. People propose banning bump stocks or closing one more loophole, even though the Annunciation shooter got guns legally. The whole thing dead-ends into the same political cul-de-sac it always does.

It has become comforting in its familiarity. Instead of sitting with the horror, we return to the debate — guns yes, guns no — as if arguing were safer than grieving.

I stood near the church last week and watched a woman hold a cardboard sign scrawled with a Sharpie: “[Expletive] your thoughts and prayers. Do something.” Some said it was insensitive since people inside had been praying. But her point was clear: Every time, we get the same condolences and no action.

That’s what makes America unique in its school shootings. We refuse to change.

Here, even when children are killed, we won’t move an inch. We treat our Constitution like scripture, untouchable. Politicians tinker at the edges, if at all. And each time someone suggests something bigger, the answer is: Let’s slow down. Let’s think about this a while. Until the next tragedy comes.

In politics, there’s a concept called the Overton window — the range of ideas considered acceptable in public conversation. That window can shift quickly. Same-sex marriage was widely opposed — then came “Ellen” and “Will & Grace.” However, the window does not move when it comes to guns, even when children are killed.

So I wonder: What does it say about us that even the killing of children cannot force change?

Maybe it’s because of our size, our fractured politics or just our stubbornness. But if now isn’t the time to change our culture fundamentally, then when is? What’s the point of having this system of laws if this is the result?

Why would anyone want to live here when they have the choice to live somewhere else?

It’s one our country needs to answer.