Apology accepted, Madonna. Now we just need a little explanation.
"Sorry it took me so long to come back, Minnesota," said the singer -- 54 years old by birth but 20 years younger by appearance -- when she finally addressed the crowd midway through Saturday's concert at Xcel Energy Center. As if to explain why she hasn't performed in the Twin Cities since 1987, she added, "It's a little cold out there. We came to heat things up and keep you warm for the winter."
"Hot and cold" is a good way of describing our lingering impressions of this weekend.
Most mind-blowing moment: She toted guns for a strangely violent dramatization of "Revolver" and "Gang Bang" near the beginning of the show. After shooting several guys, she splattered her lover's brains all over a seedy hotel-room set. Sorry, but this shock had little value.
Most human moment: A broad smile crossed her face several times in the finale "Celebration," as she got a piggyback ride from a young dancer and fell into dance-party mode. It served as a reminder of how little joy she seemed to be experiencing the rest of the night. Why so serious?
Best proof her microphone was on: She lip-synched the highly choreographed tunes -- and there were a lot of them -- but on "Like a Prayer" her voice shone through -- and so did a couple fans who had the mic thrust into their faces.
Best proof she was playing guitar: Actually we couldn't hear it. The guitar was essentially a prop for a few songs. Just put it down and stop faking it.
Best makeover: Except for "Like a Prayer," all of the classic hits in the set -- and there weren't many -- were musically reimagined. A couple were captivating, especially a slow, depressive, passionate, German cabaret version of "Like a Virgin," delivered while she writhed on the floor with piano accompaniment. A meditative redux of "Open Your Heart" with the Basque trio Kalakan was also dramatic and surprisingly enjoyable, too.
