Hey! All you Triple Whoppers, Baconator Doubles, Monster Thickburgers, XXL Burritos and Footlong Quarter Pound Coneys:
You're wimps. Babies. Pansies. Losers.
Big Daddy's in town, and he's going to kick some super-sized butt.
Seeking to satisfy a key slice of its customer base, the folks at Cousins Subs, the Menomonee Falls, Wis., firm with 143 restaurants across Wisconsin, Minnesota and four other states, has unleashed a monster made of salami, bologna, pepperoni, two types of ham, three types of cheese -- and 1,470 calories.
"Wow," said Jim White, a registered dietitian and a spokesman for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. "That's a big sandwich."
Yes. In yet another source of Wisconsin pride, one of its companies now offers a sub that outpunches, calorically speaking, almost every sandwich sold by the country's largest fast-food chains.
Wolf down a fully dressed Big Daddy, and you'll take in nearly as many calories as in three Quarter Pounders with Cheese and more than in six Johnsonville Stadium Brats minus buns.
Cousins recently introduced the huge sub along with several other menu changes, including the addition of 50 percent more meat to its popular cheese steaks.