Q: I started a new job recently, and one of the people I work with closely preferred a different candidate. She is quite influential and my success depends on working effectively with her. How should I handle this?

Andrea, 47, marketing communications consultant

A: Bring a "clean slate" perspective to the situation, moving from candidate mode to colleague.

You might have been better off not knowing that you weren't everyone's first choice. But at this point, it doesn't matter. You're in place and it's time to perform, so have confidence in the strengths you bring to your role. If you find that her lack of support is hanging over your head at an emotional level, it's worth taking some time to process any insecurity or wounded pride that comes from that. Find someone to talk to, if needed, so that you can move beyond this.

At the same time, use the information you can derive from the interview experience to guide your behavior. For example, if you know she had reservations about some aspect of your experience, use that as you'd use any feedback. Consider the relevance of the input and determine whether it'd be useful to give yourself development goals around it. Note — this is a topic to also discuss with your boss.

Be sure that you have crystal clear understanding of your success metrics for your role. This needs to be defined at a high level in terms of the goals of your position. Know what you need to deliver to be successful, and also have a good sense of priority from the points of view of your boss and other key people at your company.

Put on her hat for a moment. What do you think she is most worried about? What is going to make her successful? What type of personal style does she have — driven vs. laid back, for example? Even consider if there are ways that she may consider you to be a threat.

Insights in hand, focus on relationship building. It's in everyone's interest for you to work together well. If you haven't already done so, schedule a "my new role" kickoff meeting with her. Have some positive messages ready to share about your first bit of time on the job and your vision for success. Then do a lot of listening about her view of your ongoing collaboration and ways to make it work.

Communication isn't one and done, of course. Make sure you're touching base regularly, especially if you're not working directly on a project together. Better yet, find a way to collaborate on a tangible activity; it's the fastest way to build bonds.

Despite your best efforts, the relationship may prove to be rocky. It's essential that you're also building your credibility and demonstrating your contributions to the larger organization. Develop a set of allies who'll have your back if she moves from skepticism to undermining. Your boss needs to be your best ally in this, so be sure to reach out.

In the end, if you're performing well, your work is likely going to speak for itself or position you for a move to a better, more supportive, culture.

What challenges do you face at work? Send your questions to Liz Reyer, a credentialed coach and president of Reyer Coaching & Consulting in Eagan. She can be reached at liz@deliverchange.com.