Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: This class might be fun: “Intro to Lovely Penmanship,” with instructor Adele McNib. Thursday evenings, bring your own fountain pen.
RN: You’re kidding me with this, right?
CP: No. It’s time to get those mind muscles moving, Mister. Adult education could be a great way for you to sharpen your skills.
RN: I believe the proper terminology is “community education.” Oh, and you incorrectly presume that I, in fact, possess any skills.
CP: You have plenty of skills, but are you well-rounded?
RN: Please. I am as rectilinear as the monolith in “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Hand me that catalog already.
CP: For me, a well-chosen evening class might tune up my knitting, and turn up Mr. Right.
RN: Wait a second. I don’t see “Husband Hunting” anywhere in here. Although perhaps this “How to Boil Water” series might be instructive. And that suggestion is in no way a commentary on your cooking prowess. It’s more of a knowledge-is-power kind of thing.
CP: Am laughing through the tears. It’s true that pressing “5 minutes” on the microwave doesn’t really add up to culinary proficiency. But I’d rather learn something fun, such as “Writing a Good Yoga Instructor Bio,” or “Wet Felted Mittens.”
RN: Now I feel you are being sarcastic, and shame on you. I see plenty of room for growth in my sorry little life, and this course roster appears to be nothing but possibilities. “Open Woodshop” might be just the ticket to get me over my lifelong fear of power tools.
CP: That’s the spirit. And I figure that “ETF Fundamentals”could help turn my journalist’s nest egg into something Trump-like.
RN: I’d enroll just to learn the meaning of “ETF.” By the way, I’m a little embarrassed for you, using His Mighty Combover as a fiduciary role model. Might I suggest Marilyn Carlson Nelson, Glen Taylor or some other Minnesota-made mogul instead?
CP: Other than a few classes at Alliance Française and a fellowship in 2005, I have avoided the continuing-ed classroom like the plague throughout my adult years. Probably a backlash to those grueling K-through-college years.
RN: Same here, but now I’m thinking of all that I’m missing out on. I wonder if there’s a foreign-exchange program. We could be in Paris right now, getting a primer on WordPress, or learning the ins and outs of cultivating heirloom tomatoes. Even if we remain stateside, I’d be up for anything that motivates me to get out of my PJs and off of Amazon Prime.
CP: I thought you had a job that did that. Is adult ed something only retirees can practically ponder? After a long day of work, I know you have little left to give, and you give it to “Scandal,” “The Good Wife,” your spouse and your Facebook fans.
RN: What can I say? They need me. Look, here’s a seminar on making new Facebook friends. I’m signing you up.
CP: Very generous of you. You should be teaching that class.
Twitter: @claudepeck and @RickNelsonStrib