Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: I have been thinking about moving now for how many years?
RN: The first time I recall having this conversation, Meryl Streep was up to about eight or nine Oscar nominations. With "Into the Woods," she's now at 19. What's with the foot-dragging?
CP: Every time the urge to list hits me, it is counteracted by the prospect of dismantling my beautiful bookshelves, painstakingly installed a mere nine years ago. At which point I sit down with a beer and a new GQ. Time passes. Seasons come and go.
RN: Soon the day will come to pass when your nieces and nephews, still in their mourning togs, will be forced to play a spirited round of Keep-Toss-Recycle with your vast wig collection. Think of your family, Claude. If you love them, you'll move, if only to downsize.
CP: Easy for you to say, but if I'm in a shoe-box condo somewhere, paying exorbitant property taxes and a hefty association fee and gnashing my teeth about the clicketyclack noise from my upstairs neighbor, you will have to hear the bulk of the complaining.
RN: You, complain? Stop.
CP: Also, who will keep an eye out for the wren in the lilac?