BEIJING - You don't have to quit living to keep grieving. Hugh McCutcheon and his family decided, after he sat out three games in mourning, that he should return to coaching the U.S. men's indoor volleyball team, and now he finds himself careening between triumph and tragedy.

McCutcheon pumped his fist and waved to American fans after his team beat Russia in the semifinals of the Olympic tournament on Friday 25-22, 25-21, 25-27, 22-25, 15-13, earning a place in the gold medal match on Sunday against top-rated Brazil.

Then he called home, to console, and celebrate with, his wife.

McCutcheon is married to Elisabeth (Wiz) Bachman, the former Lakeville High and Olympic volleyball player who watched her parents get stabbed by an assailant at a Beijing tourist site before the Games began.

Her father, Todd, the chairman and CEO of Bachman's Inc., died, and her mother, Barbara, remains in the hospital, although Hugh said she is "improving" and free of post-surgery infection.

So Hugh McCutcheon divides his days between exhorting his team toward its immediate goal in Beijing and monitoring his family's gradual recovery in Minnesota.

"It's hard," he said. "You almost have to get mentally prepared to come into the gym. One of the reasons I'm here is I know there are so many more lives invested in this than just my own, in terms of what our team is trying to do here.

"So given that responsibility, given that I'm the leader of this team, there's some accountability on my part to make sure I'm here and able to do my job. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't ready to give them everything I've got and be in the right frame of mind to do that."

Friday, the U.S. won the first two sets before Russia asserted itself with strong play at the net. McCutcheon remained calm and positive, and the U.S., which hasn't won an Olympic gold in men's volleyball since 1988, remained undefeated in the tournament.

And when it was over, McCutcheon calmly shook his counterpart's hand while his players celebrated wildly. "I'm not going to run around like a headless chicken," he said.

U.S. player David Lee said, "We started with a thunderstorm, then they countered with a hailstorm, but we won it with lightning bolts in the end."

The current U.S. players grew up idolizing the great American volleyball players of the '80s, including Karch Kiraly. Team captain Tom Hoff said reestablishing the U.S. as a power "is not something we could have envisioned."

McCutcheon isn't worried so much about legacies as logistics right now. When someone asked whether his family had watched the match, which began at 11:30 p.m. Thursday in Minnesota, he said, "I hope not. I hope they were sleeping. Because Lord knows they were having a hard time doing that.

"I'm going to call Wiz here in a minute. We talked this morning. We talk a couple of times a day, three if need be. We try to stay in as constant contact as we can, because even though I'm here with volleyball, we're all in this together. The family side of things, we've got to stay on."

How is his wife? "She's doing OK," McCutcheon said. "As I've said, she was as much a victim of this as anyone. Obviously, not physically, but to have to witness the things that she's had to see, and to go through the loss that she's had to endure is not an easy thing.

"It's a testament to her strength that she's working through it."

McCutcheon said his decision to return to the bench was "absolutely a group decision. Our family made that decision collectively."

The U.S. players say playing well is one way to honor the Bachmans and support McCutcheon, and the team is obviously close.

Will McCutcheon dread the end of the tournament and the loss of a riveting distraction?

"No, no, no, no," he said. "I need to get back to my family. This is wonderful for my team and our organization and the guys and the hours that have been invested in this process.

"It's a fantastic achievement, and I'll embrace it and enjoy it. But when we're done, I've got to get back to where I'm needed, which is with my family."

McCutcheon, a native New Zealander, has done good work with the resurgent U.S. team. Soon, he'll be coming home to his family, maybe bringing a gold medal with him.

Jim Souhan can be heard Sundays from 10 a.m. to noon on AM-1500 KSTP.