I had a good friend of mine call me up and ask me why I don't do a blog about negativity. She told me some of her ideas and told me some stories and so here I am doing a blog about negativity and reveling in others misfortunes.
Why do we as a society seem to desire and almost enjoy other people's misfortunes, including many times our family and friends? We have so many opinions when something is wrong, something isn't what we think it should be or we disagree with an idea, a concept, story, or lifestyle.

I know it is very easy to be negative in our world we live in, it is afterall the fallen world. Plus, in a media run society we feed and get fed sensationalism. We thrive on Tiger Woods and his wandering ways instead of mourning the loss of a family, we love it when couples break up, or get together. We find it facinating when a star overdoses, we love it when Tony Romo has a girl friend because we love to see him struggle on the football field instead of thinking of the struggles he must go through in his career and his love-life. It often seems like we are more interested in other people's misery than other people's joys. It seems like long gone are the days of people turning to others in need of comfort and support in times of trouble. Oh yes, I know you give to your local food shelf at Christmas time, you ring the bells for the Salvation Army, you tithe to your church, and you feed the starving children. But what are you doing for your friends, your family, your Grandparent sitting in a retirement home, your own parents, siblings, children? What are you doing for your neighbor down the street about ready to lose their house to foreclosure? Are you saying, "Well, they shouldn't have purchased something they couldn't afford." or are you gathering around them, loving them, helping them, supporting them? You don't have to give people money to support them either!

My family and I struggled for years with unemployment and we at the time had 3 very young children at home. We were going to our local food shelf once a month (which is all you are allowed), my husband was doing everything and anything to get some money to feed the family and to pay some of the bills. We were very close to losing out house a few times. We didn't live beyond our means, we still don't! We live in a WWII story and a half in Richfield and for many years only had one car. Our goal at that time, was to keep the heat on, the children fed, the car and our home. We didn't care about anything else. We kept a lot of what was going on with our finances to ourselves. For years people knew my husband really didn't have a job but, no one knew the extent of what was going on in our lives. That was mostly by our design because we felt humiliated and we felt we didn't want to burden others. We got help from family and even strangers often and it was welcomed. We were so grateful we had our church, our friends, and family praying for us. We were helped in more ways that you would ever know by kind words, invitations to homes for dinner and fellowship, job connections, etc. It was wonderful when one Christmas someone sent us a money order in the mail for $100 from 'Santa' and then a week later we got another one! It saved our Christmas, it saved our family. It is amazing what something like that can do not only for your pocketbook but, really for your soul. That is something my husband and I hope we never forget how good that made us feel. We never did find out who sent us that and it really doesn't matter. We thanked those people by lifting them up in our prayers and thanking God daily for them. Yes, the money was helpful to stop the bleeding but, what we really look back and remember the most are the friends who lifted us up, who stood by us, who walked with us. The family members that took us under their wings and showed us compassion and spoke kind, affirming words to us. You don't need money or things to be helpful to those in need this year or anytime.

A good friend of ours has been struggling with much of the same too. People often comment on why their family lives in a condo instead of a house when they had 2 children. Well, they were in school still and didn't want to take on the extra burden of of a house with school, jobs, and now children. As the economy gets worse and after many struggles just to keep food on the table or having little money left in the bank account, they are very grateful they stayed in their condo! Plus, not having a house with a yard has forced them to visit parks, get outside and explore, go for walks and enjoy their time together as a family since they aren't burdened by yardwork and all that comes with owning a home. Yet many around them have chosen to focus on why they aren't living in a house, why are they not trying to get into a house, instead of focusing on their accomplishments of family and school. Well, I get why they are in a condo! I couldn't imagine working full time, while going to school, and having a husband and child at home. My husband and I lived in a condo when we had our first child and we often wish we could go back to that simple time in life when we didn't have to fix a garage door, deal with mowing and shoveling, new roofs and all that we have dealt with in our 8 years of home ownership.

People do things for different reasons, we don't often know the reasons behind their choices, their decisions and frankly we don't need to. They are the ones that have to deal with the consequences of their life choices. As my girl friend said, the blog is a beautiful place for negativity because of the anonymity that comes with it. How many of you would put yourself out there, speak your mind, choose your own path, and write pieces that spark thought? Now, how many of you would attach your name to it? What about your picture?

I do not get terribly upset at the negativity and I actually enjoy when people respond good, bad, or indifferent. Because then I know that one, people are actually reading my blogs and two, my blogs are provoking thoughts in people. That is why I write. However, it is sad when I read others blogs and there are very few positive comments. Why is it we feel the need to voice our opposition but, not our praise? Many people don't welcome the negativity, the attention to their lives, many people don't really want your comments about how their life should be, where they should live, what they should do and how they should raise their children. Unless you are in a position to hold that person accountable and unless that person is doing something that is detrimental to their life or their children's lives, keep the negativity to yourself. Or better yet, focus on the positive things in their life instead of the negative!

Life is way more fun when you have a good attitude about it than when you are burdened by other people's perceived misfortunes. It sucks that Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, I pray for them I don't think it is funny, I don't think he is cool, I am sad that another marriage didn't succeed. It is horrible that there are people out there that have lost all their money in some bad investment things, it sucks that there are people out there that seem to take advantage of others. I do feel for the people that lost everything however, I also feel for the families of those being accused. They are often the unwilling participants in these things as are friends. People make bad choices everyday, some obviously make worse choices than others but, they are still their choices. We cannot condemn others least we condemn ourselves. We are all sinners, we all make bad choices and we all need to deal with the consequences of our bad choices.

People often make very good choices too and how many of those are ackowledged? Do we acknowledge others fortunes as much as their misfortunes? Why don't we lift people up for the things that truly matter in life? It isn't fame and fortune, it isn't the size of your house, it isn't the car you drive, it isn't the size of your portfolio or how many things you have. The things that really matter in life are God, family, and friends. We tend to know more about the latest celebrity than we do about our own family. I am not perfect with this at all! I struggle with gossip, I struggle with finding some sick joy in others misfortunes daily. It is hard, we are told daily stuff is important in life, fame is important and being noticed is important.

I don't want to be noticed for my mistakes, I want to be noticed for who I am as a person, a mother, a wife, a lover of God. As the holidays inch closer, let us take a step back and evaluate our own lives and stop judging others Let us plug back in with our family, ourselves, our spouse and our God. Let us help not only the faceless, nameless person we give to without thinking about, but, our own neighbors, our own family, our own friends. Bring the positive back into your life, bring the positive back to others lives. What happened to neighbors helping neighbors? Let's do some barn raising people and lift each other up instead of tearing them down to make ourselves feel better. Because frankly, when I choose to talk bad about a person, I actually find myself feeling worse about it then better.