Ashton Kutcher

CBS prez Nina Tassler plays a mean game of dodgeball.

The veteran executive's ability to skirt tough questions was tested Wednesday morning as the network addressed TV critics in LA without Ashton Kutcher - or anyone else from "Two and a Half Men." Tassler's excuse: The show is in production. Um, yeah, so is every show in town - and sitcom schedules are considerable lighter than dramas (If anchor Scott Pelley can make it during a hectic week, so could Kelso).

Tassler did drop some not-so-juicy nuggets: Kutcher will play Walden Schmidt, an internet billionaire with a broken heart. He will be introduced at the top of the season in a two-parter. She also said first day on set w/ Kutcher, you could "cut the air with a knife." I'm assuming the knife reference was purely coincidental.

Those looking for Tassler to apologize to those of us who questioned why the network stuck with Sheen for years of misbehavior were disappointed. "We're moving forward," she said.

Some of my colleagues seem to think Kutcher's character will play Charlie Sheen's long lost son. Hmmmmmmm.....

In other news: CBS is working on a sitcom with Rob Schneider.