For a year after her husband's sudden death, Jackie Wallin had no idea what to do with the ashes from his cremation. After painstaking and painful consideration, she landed on his beloved Lyndale Park Rose Garden as the first "scattering spot." Anticipating a serene tribute, she and a close friend toted some remains to the Lake Harriet haven.
"We got there, and they were doing Shakespeare in the Park," Wallin, of St. Louis Park, said with a half sigh, half chuckle. "I had thought I'd have this private moment, and then all these people were there. But I said, 'No, I've got to do this.'
"You're so emotional, something just kind of comes over you. I don't know if it's a spiritual thing, but this big gust of wind came up, and my girlfriend and I had ashes all over us."
As more Americans opt for cremation -- the rate increased more than tenfold over 50 years, from 3.56 percent in 1960 to 40.6 percent in 2010 -- their surviving loved ones often are left with the quandary of where the cremains should land. Sometimes that comes without any direction from the dearly departed, and that can be by design.
"I think they should go where it has meaning for the next generation, not where it has meaning for" the deceased, said Betsi Baker of Bloomington, who has placed her father's ashes in three wide-ranging locations.
He had shared no destination directives, so Baker took her time choosing the sites. All three resting places are at cemeteries that provide connectivity with ancestors or descendants.
Kevin Waterston, owner of the Cremation Society of Minnesota, said the most popular destinations he hears about from clients are "a local cemetery or some favorite lake."
Most cemeteries allow people to scatter or bury ashes at the gravesites of their relatives, Waterston said.