What's the worst page on the Internet?

General rule: if a headline asks a question, the answer is No. Unless the question is "Are you sick of headlines that ask questions?" Even then, it's doubtful. So when digiday asked if THIS was the worst page on the internet, you immediately thought of something you stumbled across years ago and cannot forget no matter how many times you think of a river of bleach. Anyway:

A selection:

I've seen worse. Although when I first clicked on the page I found a picture that would give Trypophobiacs a full-body heebie shudder. (Do not google trypophobia, because it will make you a trypophobiac.) (It's "fear of holes." Just leave it at that.) (You googled "fear of holes," didn't you. You were warned.) Anyway, it's the sort of page that infests the web more and more these days. At least Cafe Mom is not one of those sites made by robots, for robots; the other day I did a google image search for something that had to do with architecture; can't remember what. This came up:

Okay. Not any architect I recognize, but maybe he's wearing Frank Gehry-designed underwear; I'd have the same expression.

I clicked on the page. All ads. Nonsense copy. And this was the comments section:

A bizarre parallel world of useless, automatically generated websites lives right below the surface of the useful web, like an enormous colony of ants.

BILLIONS WANT TO KNOW IF THE WATER BROKE. BILLIONS What are you waiting for? A royal baby, of course. The entire world is waiting, and you are part of the world. Ergo, this BBC headline is absolutely accurate.

CRIME Add this to the list of things that are illegal:

It's a good thing that law was on the book, or another vicious criminal would have gone scot-free. I mention this only to ask you if you know what "scot-free" means. Most things are scot-free. Look in your wallet: any scot? There, up in the trees: not a single scot anywhere. What does it mean? To the internet, Robin:

Especially in the USA? There are people in Ecuador who think that's the origin? The piece goes on:

OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, just tell me. Let me guess: it has nothing to do with Scott Glenn, the actor who did not appear in most movies ever made, thereby leading to the film-industry term "scot-free," with the extra T removed because there was a law, passed in 1867 but never repealed, that banned the use consecutive Ts in front of minors, or something like that.

Ah! Got it. So any Paula Abdul video that does not have MC Skat Kat is "Scot-free."

MEANWHILE IN RUSSIA Today's dashcam video: truck with a crane snaps overhead power cord and drops it in the pedestrian crossing.

I was going to link to this, which is starting to - altogether now - going viral, but it has profanity. It also has no real reason for existing, but that's the internet: a guy decides to accelerate the end of his marriage by filming his wife having a total freak-out because he won't take her to the lake, and then posts it on the web to ensure total global humiliation. Not that she didn't deserve it, but really, why is this everyone's business now? Because of the lulz! Ha ha she's stupid. But while we may sympathize with him for having to endure that burst of nonstop harpyism, and while you can understand why he wants to get his point across because she's slagging him on Facebook, it's really quite extraordinary, when you think about it.