So we're not trying to pile on here. Instead, we're trying to find ways to harness this vast energy Mr. Sheen seems to have right now. And we think he could really fix a lot of issues on the local pro sports scene:
*Concerns over the Twins' bullpen depth could be alleviated if Sheen could reprise his movie role of Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn. We're not saying he would have to do it all -- the Twins already have two closers in Joe Nathan and Matt Capps -- but a nice guy to build a bridge to the 8th inning with some high heat would be a nice boost. Sheen vs. A-Rod in the playoffs. Who do you like? That's what we thought.
*If you don't like the direction the Wolves are headed right now, how about this: Sheen buys the team and takes over as GM and head coach. He puts fans in the seats. He dazzles opposing personnel men with his fast talk, remaking the roster in no time. And though he might not be much of an X's and O's guy, how could a team not respond to him furiously scribbling on a white board, then turning it around only to reveal the word "winning" written over and over again?
*The Wild lacks depth at center as it tries to push forward for a playoff spot. Now, the issue with Sheen and his kids is a very serious one and should not be taken lightly. That said, wouldn't you want someone in the faceoff circle who is so vigilant he would declare, "Tiger blood now drips from my fangs!" when times are tough? Yep.
*QB for the Vikings? Well, let's see. Sheen doesn't lack charisma. He's in his 40s. He believes in winning. And you're never sure what he's going to do next. We've tried this before, and it worked for a year. Why not again?