Young Bartolo Colon had to be a fabulous time killer on a languid day in Altamira, Dominican Republic. I'm guessing all he would have needed to occupy himself was a baseball. I don't care if he's 44 and was making his 528th start (including playoffs) in the major leagues. Nobody can be the cool hand that was Colon on Wednesday, not even Paul Newman as Luke Jackson.

Colon's strikeout fastball is long gone, so he basically has to keep pumping strikes until a hitter puts a ball in play. Every pitch needs a thought, and he gets the ball back from the catcher, stares at nothing for a couple of seconds as he contemplates, and then he's ready to go.

The whole Colon approach — looking around, picking out a spot, doing so as casually if he was throwing at the front steps; flipping a baseball because there's nothing else to do at that moment — was hysterical. It was the most fun I've had watching a Twins game since 2010, when Twins games were fun.