WASHINGTON – I left my snow blower in Minnesota.
Ah, smug was I.
Then came the record storm that President Obama and so many others would dub “snowmageddon.”
The snowpocalypse. Snowlocaust. Snowdzilla. Whatever.
What’s really chewing at me is I’m writing this from my “home office” (IRS, take note, it’s for “the convenience of my employer”).
On my desk is a hot mug of coffee that commemorates the “Great Halloween Snowstorm, 28.4 inches, Oct. 31-Nov. 2, 1991.”
The Star Tribune headline was “It fell and fell and fell…”
(Compare to one online head I spotted in the Washington Post this weekend: “Please, just make it stop”).
I don’t remember how I made it to work in the ‘91 storm, but I got the company logo-imprinted mug as a token of my bosses’ appreciation.
(Sorry about today, boss).
Snowfall figures in the D.C. area this weekend range from the mid-20-inches to the mid-30s. Basically, on a par with the Great Halloween Snowstorm, the biggest I remember from my two decades in Minnesota.
But this is different. For three reasons:
First, many of us here in Washington are creatures of mass transit. We’re basically in Day 3 of Snowmageddon, and the Metro system is basically shut down, except for downtown trains that don’t poke their noses above ground. (Note: Day 2 was Super Bowl Sunday, so maybe Metro rail workers didn’t count it).
Second, the Washington area, once slammed by John F. Kennedy for its “southern efficiency and northern hospitality,” is basically clueless about snow.
(Point 2, subparagraph 1: The nation’s capital is a veritable Tower of Babel of driving styles, with a lot of folks at the wheel who, let’s just say, don’t know a lot about winter driving technique in the First World; Point 2, subparagraph 2: There’s no Minnesota Nice ethic here that gives any reassurance that once you dig your car out on the street you’ll ever get to park there again).
Third, the white stuff that falls here could more aptly be described as cement. It’s heavy, thick, and hardens on the top after a few hours in the sun. It sticks to your shovel, and nearly guarantees a sprained lower back.
So, snowed in with the cats, if not Tweety Bird too, I labor today from home, where I’ve been for the past three days.
At least I’ve got electricity, which is more than some 200,000 other Washingtonians can say. But my cable line is dangling precariously from a telephone pole, the victim of my neighbor’s fallen tree, the victim of… see Point Three, above.
Meanwhile, my wife Judy, traveling on business in St. Paul, is merrily bounding to and fro through the “Manitoba Mauler.”
I’ll leave the lights on Hon if you manage to make it home from the airport.
One pretty embarrassed Minnesotan in Washington, D.C..
More from Star Tribune
More from Hot Dish Politics
Amid reports that Donald Trump was in danger of not getting on Minnesota's presidential ballot, the Trump campaign says everything is in order and voters will have a chance to cast their ballot for him in November.
The Minnesota Jobs Coalition, a Republican allied political group, has alleged violations of campaign-finance law by a DFL House candidate and a former DFL state legislator.
Liberal group plunks $350k for ads in Duluth against Mills
Gov. Mark Dayton has scheduled a public meeting Thursday to discuss the future of the proposed Southwest Light Rail line.
Interest groups spent less slightly money lobbying state government in 2015 than in the previous year, according to a report released Wednesday by the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board.
Recommended For You
San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is refusing to stand for the national anthem before games because he believes the United States oppresses African Americans and other minorities.
If SI is right, this will not be a good year for the Minnesota side of the Vikings-Packers rivalry.
Donald Trump warned Saturday of a "war on the American farmer," telling a crowd in Iowa that rival Hillary Clinton "wants to shut down family farms" and implement anti-agriculture policies.
With this season all but gone, let's look ahead to next spring.
The appearance of conflict of interest is both troubling and inevitable.