Minnesotans are renowned for the way we talk. Or maybe tormented is a better word. You betcha! Yes, some of us let that little phrase slip every once and a while.

But there are certain things we would never say, and not because of Minnesota Nice or our passive-aggressive tendencies or our notorious irony deficiency. We wouldn’t utter these statements because they are not true, and we are nothing if not an upstanding lot.


“I never eat anything when I go to the State Fair.”

“The humidity could be worse.”

“Oh, the mosquitoes aren’t so bad.”

“I really look forward to working on Fridays in the summer.”

“The accents in ‘Fargo’ were so realistic. We sound just like that.”

“I miss the Metrodome.”

“These Buffalo wings aren’t spicy enough.”

“That Bob Dylan, what a great voice.”

“A foam cheesehead is such a great gift.”

“That Block E sure was a good idea.”

“Sure thing, I’ll show you where I find my morels.”

“Oh, just leave your shoes on.”

“Minnesota drivers are so courteous, especially when you’re trying to merge.”

“Oh no, I never vote.”

“The Mall of America is so relaxing on Saturdays.”

“I never see anyone taking up the whole pathway when I’m biking around the lake.”

“I hate the holidays. All that lefse!”

“Oh, that Jell-O is for dessert, not a salad.”

“I don’t understand why we can only get lutefisk during the holidays.”

“Sure, I’ll have that last piece of cake.”

“I’m so glad Dayton’s became Marshall Fields and then Macy’s.” □