Sandy Nieman gave birth to her twin boys, Adam and Andy, 32 years ago, followed by a surprising second set of twins less than four years later. Within her first month as a new mother, Nieman of Crystal attended her very first Twin Topics (now Multiple Connections) meeting.
Just after Linda Robinson of Minneapolis found out during a prenatal exam that she was expecting twin girls (Elizabeth and Alexandra, now 18), her doctor handed her a Twin Topics card and suggested she join the support group.
"I thought, 'What? I'm going to need support?'" she said, laughing. "That's when I started to worry."
The goal of Multiple Connections, which meets regularly in Golden Valley, is to ease the worries of mothers of multiples while providing opportunities for them to connect with and learn from other moms. There are currently about 300 members in this club; there is also a group in Apple Valley and one on the north side of Minneapolis.
Originally launched in 1961 by Plymouth resident Jan Hajny and eight other mothers of twins, Twin Topics celebrated families that in those days were considered fairly unique.
"It was really just a chance for us to talk to each other about what it was like to raise twins," said Hajny, whose twins, Karl and Keith, are now 52. "No one could use the excuse that they were too busy to come because they had two babies -- we all did."
Hajny still remains active in the group, along with Nieman, Robinson and other "veteran" moms, which has been a boon to newer moms such as Lanica Klein, current president of Multiple Connections and mom to identical twins Micah and Noah, almost 5.
"I learn so much from the moms who have older twins," said Klein, who lives in Minnetonka. "When people ask 'How you do it with twins?', you really don't have anything to compare it to, but at the same time, you can really learn what to expect from moms who do understand how you do it."
Some things never change
Although twins and multiples are far more common today than when Hajny's twins and Nieman's boys (and second set, Brent and Ericka, 29) were born, Nieman recalled "getting stopped everywhere I went" by people fascinated by twins. Klein believes that, even today, mothers with twins give up all their privacy to the questions of others.
"People seem to really want to know if I was on fertility drugs, which I wasn't," she said. "And I'll hear everything from 'You're so blessed' to 'Thank God it's not me.'"
With many ways for today's moms to connect virtually, Robinson values the personal conversations -- often held at age-specific round tables during Multiple Connections meetings -- and thinks they have more of an effect.
"We didn't have family nearby to help us out," she said. "The club really filled in the gap. I remember my husband used to give me lists of questions to bring with me to every meeting."
During a recent conversation, Nieman, Robinson and Klein shared stories about their twins, frequently punctuated by nods of recognition about the challenges of the first few weeks ("I felt like I gave birth, fell asleep and woke up three months later," joked Klein); matching clothes (all preferred complementary color schemes instead); birth order (which actually matters a lot to their twins, said Nieman and Robinson); healthy competition between twins, and traveling with multiples.
What's best about being the mother of twins? All of them agreed they love having a front seat to the blossoming of a very special relationship.
"My boys are so empathetic with each other," said Klein. "They also have a built-in playmate, which means no one is asking me to do a puzzle for the 73rd time."
"There really is a magical bond between them," said Robinson. "I have no idea what it feels like to have a twin, but the way their 'twinness' has intensified, even though they are very different from each other, I love seeing that."
From her perspective as a mother of twins for more than 50 years, Hajny said, even though there are more moms like her today, life with twins isn't much different than it was when her boys were born.
"Kids don't change. Motherhood doesn't change," she said. "The outside gadgets and the fancy equipment today might be different, but the kids? They still want to crawl up into their mom's lap."
Julie Pfitzinger is a West St. Paul freelance writer.
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