Trout's Christmas wishes………. I wish the guy who invented the peanut butter jar, would invent a peanut butter jar knife that would reach the bottom of the jar, because my butter knives don't. I wish the stop sign that worked all summer would work in the winter; I drove past one today in a small snow squall. I slid right past it and if somebody doesn't fix that pretty quick, I could get hurt. And another slippery winter wish, I wish I wasn't the one always brining on the freshest sidewalk solution. It's amazing how hard it is on my hip and for no reason I'll ever understand, I constantly land on my left side. I wish more women didn't mis-understand-ing by the, or under the, mistletoe. I wish the kids, coworkers, even complete strangers that think this time of year, it's better to give, than to receive, would re-think what influenza is all about. I wish that five months of snow would do to dog do-do, what one summer rain does to seagull poop. I wish that my summer friends, who leave here for the winter, wouldn't take all that summer warmth with them to warmer climates, it's just so redundant, and hard on my heating bill. I wish that some of this cold air hovering, blowing, chilling over my shivering carcass for the next half of one solid perma frosted year, well I wish I could stash it in my freezer and use it when I need it about next July or august. I wish that Christmas music, after about one bell ringing jing, jing, a-ling'ning, I saw Santa kissing mommy week, was more of a really long, long, silent night. I wish that warm all over feeling, from a nice glass of Irish whiskey would last until the defrosters and heaters put some warm in the car, especially the seat every morning before work. And in some wishes, comes the dreams as far away as the stars above. I wish all our soldiers a safe return; I wish all of you the very best this Christmas season and into the New Year can bring…………. . The trout whisperer

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