But you were spared that, dear reader, because we remembered what we really wanted to talk about from an item we saw yesterday: The Bears faked injuries for competitive gain, and Brian Urlacher admitted it.
It was more than just that, though. It was the manner in which the Bears did it, which was so perfectly haphazard and so perfectly defined the Lovie Smith Era.
Urlacher made these comments on Fox Sports 1, as noted by the Chicago Sun Times:
“We had a guy who was the designated dive guy,” he said.
Urlacher said a Bears coach would simulate a swimmers’ diving motion with his arms from the sideline and the player “would get hurt.”
Can't imagine ANYBODY would put 2 and 2 together on that one, right? Maybe a coach was just doing some enthusiastic sideline exercises. Simulated swimming is his one quirk. No?
He said it was beneficial on long drives or early in the season when defenders were more easily gassed.
He said he wouldn’t name the coach who pantomimed in the order.
Curiously, he also said the Bears weren’t coached to fake injuries, per se.
“It wasn’t coached,” he said, “but it was part of our game plan.”
Let's repeat that. It wasn't coached, but it was part of our game plan. Ladies and gentlemen, Lovie Smith! Just further proof that Chicago's 81-63 record under Smith -- and the complete inability to guess whether the Bears would win 5 or 13 games in a given year -- had much to do with bounces, circumstances and swimmy arm motions.