This thing is doomed, whatever it is

Drudge had a link - PAPER: Apple watch doomed. . . or something like that. It sounded like a reasonable financial report, because it had PAPER: in front of it. Turns out it's another guy who wants to wave his arms and say OVER HERE! MAN WITH NO IMAGINATION!

This us you speak of. Who would that be? The people who see the device as something that boils down the smartphone interactions to something simpler that doesn't require taking out the phone to interact? Because you know how that goes - take it out, stab here, do something, put it away. This moves that to your wrist, so you look and dismiss without hauling out the slab.

And everyone loved it! Everyone! Except the bleating of the tech press that insisted it had been done before and done better, and this was overpriced and Mac only and doomed, I tell you, har har, doomed like Apple itself. And then it sold a bazillion units because it was . . . easier. And better.

Like the iPad? Maligned for its name (hur hur menstruation) or its size (It's just a big iPhone why would you I can't even) or the fact that someone else came out with a tablet that had a STYLUS, DUDE, and this is just more fanboi fodder for der sheeple. Look, I'll be honest. I have an iPad mini, and sometimes I think I'll never buy another iPad. Because this one is perfect. It's small and lightweight and does everything I want. Books, web, games. Now if they made the screen eye-blindly sharp with 3d holomatrix projectors, we're talking upgrade, but for now this is all I want in a tablet. The iPad. Which was a much-ballyhooed gadget.

This is like saying Henry Ford is trying to reinvent the watch, but Lucius Beaufont didn't have much luck breeding horses with cars.

Google's past failures are direct and incontrovertible evidence of future Apple failures.

(Apple Watch product team sees that timeline and shudders in anticipatory dread)

Just as the iPhone offered many functions of a laptop, including the time, and email. So why would anyone want one of those.

The basic Watch starts at $400. The high-end Apple watch is pitched at a rarified stratum of people for whom money is no object. Imagine a car company. Imagine a car company that sells affordable cool cars and amazing expensive sports cars that do 150 MPH. Imagine people judging the low-end car's ability to get from point A to point B solely on the basis that the company sells an expensive car.

I remember buying the first iPod, and thinking "sure glad this will never be improved, and I can use it forever without thinking any aspect will benefit from incremental improvement."

It's interesting how someone who said there was no reason to want or need the Watch thinks it's super-functional. That would suggest it had functions and was super good at them. But impractical!

Look. Let me tell you about this thing. The battery life will disappoint, probably. For now. It will take some time to get used to the crown, and navigation may seem wonky at first. For now. The first commercials for the iPhone were idealized, but everything they said the device would do is what the device does.

I've said it before: you're a parent whose child is off in college or on vacation or backpacking around, I don't know, Vietnam. Phone buzzes. You take it out. You see the text. You thumb the button. You see the picture. You smile and text back a message.

Or: You get a tell-tale tap on your wrist, the signal it's your child. You glance at the screen; it's a picture of where she is. You draw an exclamation point, and a minute later on the other side of the globe it taps her wrist in a repetition of the gesture you set up.

Plus, paying for groceries by waving your hand over the terminal. Remember the days when you had to use your thumbprint? Gawd.