The most important part of a Finish Line is the "line" part

I'm king of the world! Admire me! Throw laurels at me! Bedeck my heck with garlands! Name your kids after me! Place Zod behind me in the list of people to whom you should kneel! I won! I won! I - hey, who's that?

GUESS THE SUBJECT The Cheesegrater, the Walkie-Talkie, the Can of Ham, and of course the Gherkin. The last one might give it away. Hint: half of them were probably demolished by Khan.

HUMAN INTERACTION IMPROVED Yes, thanks to this new type of drinking glass, people may make eye contact once again. More likely they will spill beer everywhere. Or ask for wine. It's a nice reminder, though: unless you are expecting a text whose importance reaches the level of "your transplant organ is now available, but the dry ice keeping it cold is beginning to deteriorate" then you don't need to check your phone every minute.

The Offline Glass from Mauricio Perussi on Vimeo.

THAT'LL LEARN HIM He'll learn that authority is capricious as it is witless, I mean. That's the lesson he'll take away, if he remembers anything at all. Probably not. From the WaPo:

First of all, I'll have to make a note to drop by the sporting goods store and get me one of those Cowboy-Style guns. Just walk in and ask for something Cowboy-Style and they'll wave you over to special case and if you're lucky the clerk will use a Slim Pickins voice during the transaction and call you Podner.

Second, the orange tip means it's fake. Third, wouldn't you want the school's policy on contacting parents not to consist entirely of "oh, eventually"?

On the other hand: here's a school responding to a parent's complaint with proper alacrity. Read "The photo that broke a mother's heart," and see if it doesn't do the same for you.

HEY YOU Today's gratuitous use of the internet headline cliche:

BARATUNDE THURSTON LEFT THE INTERNET FOR 25 DAYS, AND YOU SHOULD TOO.

The article is by Baratunde Thurston, who wants you to read his piece. On the Internet. Well, let's see what he's peddling.

Never heard of him. But he had a hectic year and tweeted a lot and took a lot of pictures and sent a lot of messages, so:

Detox AND you can still drink? Awesome! I recommend the article for three reasons:

1. The picture of the author looking into the future while holding a quill pen

2. A logistical account of the process of leaving the internet, which makes the Normandy Invasion look like jumping over a puddle

3. The flowersthat infest the browser window until the piece is unreadable.