DALLAS — Getting people on and off an airplane quickly is so complicated that even an astrophysicist couldn't figure it out.
The astrophysicist, Jason Steffen of the University of Illinois, normally contemplates things such as axion-like particles. But after waiting in one boarding line too many, he turned to the mysteries of airline seating.
"I thought there had to be a better way," he says.
So, after a series of calculations, he deduced that the best system would be a combination of filling window seats first, then middle and aisle ones, while also spacing the boarding passengers two rows apart.
There was just one problem — passengers would have to board in precise order. Good luck with that. These are the same passengers who don't turn off their phones even after they're told it's a federal law.
"Well," Steffen observes, "I understand why airline people aren't calling me."
But the search for the perfect boarding process goes on.
Most airlines allow first-class and other elite customers to board first. After that, some fill the rear rows first and work toward the front.