Welcome to another installment of "That Happened," a wildly popular occasional feature by commenter Stu, whereby he takes a look at something that you might not believe ever really happened. BUT IT DID. Stu?
The plucky New England Patriots upset the mighty, arrogant, and heavily-favored St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. Most everyone outside of St. Louis seemed to enjoy this outcome.
That’s unpossible! How could anyone root for Bill Belichick? Up to that point, Bill Belichick was best known as the guy who was fired by the Browns, despite his cooking acumen. Also, the other head coach was Mike Martz. He appeared to have graduated
from the Chris Laettner Center for Advanced Smug.
But still, how can you root against Kurt Warner, much less for Tom Brady? Kurt’s the world’s most humble and decent human being, while Tom Brady smirks, dresses fancy and impregnates beautiful women. How I hate him so. You’re free to hate him, and embracing that hate makes you more powerful than you can possibly imagine. I’m compelled to point out, however, that we had been subjected to the Official Kurt Warner Backstory (He loves God! His wife had cancer! He worked overnights at a Piggly Wiggly! He played in the Arena League!) ad nauseum, while Brady was still the semi-anonymous back-up who had to step in that season after Drew Bledsoe got hurt. You can’t blame us for tiring of the Warner-as-Second-Coming storyline and letting our guard down.
I’ll grant you that. But what about the fan base? That special combo of annoying and haughty should be limited to the [redacted] in your office from Ashwaubenon who keeps telling you how the Pack are going to crush the Vikings if they play a third time. Oh, I agree. [Redacted] that guy. But it wasn’t always thus. You have to remember: at that time, there was no Bloody Sock game. The Celtics had neither KG nor Ray Allen. Bill Simmons was just starting to reference Teen Wolf on a national stage. Tommy from Quinzee still had his shirt AHHHHN.
You mean Boston fans used to be…tolerable? I guess. The Patriots were usually average at best, and Game 6 really was gut-wrenching. That fan base was legitimately beaten down, though their “our pain and suffering is unique and unimaginable” pleading was always a crock. They had a string of Celtics titles and Larry Bird in the recent past, for pity’s sake. Cleveland and Buffalo? Now their pain and suffering is legitimate.
So you’re saying that what used to be unobjectionable and even likable became a source of supreme aggravation upon becoming remarkably successful? Why, yes. That is exactly what I’m saying.
Are you Morrissey? Yes. Yes I am.