We waited until the last possible moment and, truth be told, we hammered out these predictions on an iPhone note while walking to the bank about an hour ago. Nonetheless, you should treat these NFL predictions like the gold they are. Here we go:

NFC North: Packers 12-4, Lions 8-8, Vikings 7-9, Bears 6-10

NFC East: Eagles 10-6, Giants 9-7, Redskins 8-8, Cowboys 7-9

NFC West: Rams 9-7, Seahawks 6-10, 49ers 6-10, Cardinals 6-10

NFC South: Bucs 11-5, Saints 10-6, Falcons 7-9, Panthers 5-11

AFC North: Steelers 11-5, Ravens 11-5, Bengals 6-10, Browns 5-11

AFC East: Patriots 12-4, Jets 10-6, Dolphins 8-8, Bills 5-11

AFC West: Chargers 11-5, Chiefs 9-7, Broncos 7-9, Raiders 7-9

AFC South: Texans 11-5, Titans 6-10, Jaguars 5-11, Colts 5-11

Super Bowl: Patriots over Packers because we just can't have Green Bay going back-to-back. You will get no explanation for how we arrived at any of these predictions, and you will like it that way.

The NFL starts tonight. This is terrific news! You no longer have to worry about Joe Mauer for the rest of September.