Guillermo Rodriguez, the sometimes intoxicated, always affable sidekick on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" may have never played a down of professional football, but he displayed some aggressive moves Monday during the Super Bowl's media-day smackdown.
As the clock was winding down on Bill Belichick's time at Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Rodriguez shoved his way to the front of his booth to get a signature from the coach, his fourth attempt at the bit.
He succeeded -- but not before his black marker left ink stains on the hand of reporter Alex Holly, a reporter for the Fox affiliate in Philadelphia.
"Technically, I got your autograph," the good-natured Holly said afterwards to her "rival," who apologized profusely and then asked for a hug and a kiss. He succeeded there, too.
Rodriguez, taping bits to air on an upcoming episode of "JKL," was one of several celebrities on the field that were better known than some of the players everyone was supposed to be fixated on.
Comedian J.B. Smoove, best known for "Curb Your Enthusiasm," dominated his "interview" with Patriots player Michael Slater, interrupting the special-teams ace several times to encourage other media folks to start adopting the nickname "Pedigree."
"You've got to cut loose and ask questions that don't normally get asked," Smoove said later as he continued his duties for "The Rich Eisen Show." "Ask a question for the common man."
Nancy Kerrigan, who was representing "Inside Edition," wasn't nearly as exhuberant. When I approached her, I was quickly told by a "handler" that the Olympian wasn't doing interviews.
"So, you're a member of the press, but you're not talking to the press?" I asked her.
Yes, she replied, forcing a silver-medal smile as I walked away shaking my head.
A few minutes later, her associate approached me and said it would be fine to ask her a question, as long as it was about being part of the Super Bowl (code for: Don't you dare ask about "I, Tonya"!)
So, here, pretty much in its entirety, is my soon-to-be-Pulitzer-nominated interview:
Q: What's it like to be on the other side of the camera for an event like this?
A: It's fun to get the players' perspective.
Q: So you're a football fan?
A: I think all Americans are.
Sigh. Where's J.B. Smoove when I need him?