"Valentine": Until Rob Thomas completes his much-anticipated relaunch of the cult favorite "Cupid," we've got Aphrodite (Jaime Murray) and Eros (Kristoffer Polaha) to solve the romantic dilemmas of L.A.'s most heartsick citizens. We love Murray, but the premise might be as challenging as scaling Mount Olympus. (7 p.m. Oct. 5, WUCW, Ch. 23.)

"The Simpsons": The star-studded cameos for this 20th(!) season include Jodie Foster, Mark Cuban, Jeff Bezos, Anne Hathaway and Seth Rogen, who also penned an episode about Homer's attempt to get into shape. (7 p.m. Sept. 28, KMSP, Ch. 9.)

"Family Guy": The networks' most outrageous series returns with a tribute to "The Empire Strikes Back" and a jaunt to Russia with Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd. Look for the spinoff "The Cleveland Show" to debut sometime mid-season. (8 p.m. Sept. 28, KMSP, Ch. 9.)

"Desperate Housewives": The residents of Wisteria Lane jump five years into the future, which finds Gabby with kids and a frumpy wardrobe, a twist that means star Eva Longoria gets to spend less time in makeup. (8 p.m. Sept. 28, KSTP, Ch. 5.)

"Easy Money": As much as we'd like to see a small-screen version of the Rodney Dangerfield classic (yes, I said classic), we'll settle for Laurie Metcalf as the matriach of a family of loan sharks. The classic Judge Reinhold (yes, I said classic again) plays the detective trying to bust their operation. (8 p.m. Oct. 5, WUCW, Ch. 23.)