Each week, commenter RandBallsStu (branding!) tracks down a former Minnesota sports figure about whom you might have otherwise forgotten. This works out well, except when the ex-athlete calls and yells at us. Stu?

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The Hunt Down Redux

Name: former Timberwolves center Luc Longley

When Last We Checked: ah, the first week of June, 2008.  Were we ever that young?  The number one song in our great country was Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop,” moviegoers instantly regretted flocking to the Adam Sandler-in-a-wig vehicle You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, and Hillary Clinton conceded the Democratic Presidential contest to Illinois Senator Barack Obama.

Was “Lollipop” a Metaphor: probably.

I’m Too Lazy to Click a Simple Link, Give Me the Gist: Luc is short for Lucien; he was bitten by a scorpion while sorting compact discs (this was a long time ago, remember); his house burned down; and, as an Australian, is very enthusiastic about Aussie rules football.

Why Are We Bringing Him Up Now, Again: NBA draftniks are smitten with 18-year-old Australian hoops phenom Dante Exum. The Lakers have already expressed interest in the point guard, who just led the marvelously named Lake Ginninderra Lakers to the Angus & Malcolm Young National Championship or whatever they call it.  We know this because the Canberra Times newspaper interviewed Australian Boomers assistant coach Luc Longley, who says Exum is much more NBA-ready than he was at 18.  But can he block his own shot?  That remains to be seen.

The heck’s a boomer:  Australian slang for kangaroos.  It is not short for boomerangs, nor the American age cohort with “low T” and an impossible love for the music of Jackson Browne.

Is He on Twitter: no.

Is There Luc Longley fan fiction on Twitter: yes.

Has He Ever Been in a Twitter Feud with Patrick Reusse: no.

Glorious Randomness: as noted by Erik Malinowski, Luc Longley now resembles a time-traveling Spencer Hall.