Woe be unto the westerner who crosses the Mississippi River ill-versed in the language of the east metro.
Here then is a visitors guide to the eastern Twin Cities:
West St. Paul and the West Side of St. Paul are not the same. The first is a city in Dakota County; the other is a neighborhood. St. Paul's West End is across the river from both.
Lowertown is downtown.
Frogtown is a neighborhood, not an amphibian theme park.
South St. Paul is east of West St. Paul.
St. Paul Park is not a park in St. Paul.
St. Paul has a North End, not a North Side.
White Bear Avenue is a freeway exit in Maplewood and will take you to White Bear Lake -- unless you turn south into St. Paul.
There are no arcades on Arcade Street.
Landfall is a trailer park, not a city dump.
Minnehaha is an avenue, not a waterfall.
North High School is in North St. Paul and the mascot is a polar bear.
East 7th is home to the old-school pizza palace Red's Savoy. West 7th is home to popular bars, including Mancini's Char House, J.R. Mac's and the Liffey.
Payne is an avenue spelled with a "y" and the home to must-visit restaurants Yarusso Brothers and Serlin's.
Lake Street turns into Marshall Avenue, which skirts no lakes.
McKnight is a road, not a foundation.
The dome on the hill belongs to the Cathedral; the lower one is the State Capitol.
St. Paul has a Harriet Island, not a Lake Harriet. Also, it isn't an actual island.
Cretin Avenue is miles from Cretin-Derham Hall High School.
The hometown beer is Summit, not Surly.
"Spaghetti Junction" doesn't serve pasta.
The art deco building at 15 W. Kellogg Blvd. is both St. Paul City Hall and the Ramsey County District Courthouse.
Rochelle Olson • 651-735-9749