With the right DVR, you can watch historical footage of numerous DVRs — Diva Vikings Receivers.
Is Mike Wallace the next star in our longest-running melodrama?
The Vikings' biggest move of the offseason has been what effectively served as a ''trade'' of Greg Jennings for Wallace. The Vikings cut Jennings and replaced him by swapping low-round draft picks with the Dolphins to acquire Wallace, who is younger and faster.
At the end of last season, Wallace had a sideline argument with coaches and was benched for a half.
In other words, unless Wallace throws a weight at a head coach or terrorizes a small town in Minnesota, he has a chance to win the Leo Lewis Award, which I just made up and will now annually be given to the Vikings receiver who acts so selflessly he could be confused as a player at another position.
Wallace has the talent to make the Vikings offense better. He's one of the best deep threats in the NFL, and he scored 10 touchdowns last season in a system that didn't play to his strengths. He even beat Vikings cornerback Xavier Rhodes late in the season, when he was playing extremely well.
Whether you like the acquisition depends on your level of paranoia about the emotional stability of star receivers. If you're a Vikings fan, you've been burned by this particular hot stove, and you learned from the experience by repeatedly slamming your hand down on a flame-red burner every fall.
Sports analysts have created advanced metrics to measure everything in the sports world. The new statistic in the NBA is PER — Player Efficiency Rating. The Vikings measure their wideouts in PIR — Pain in the Rear quotient. To divine a PIR, you divide a player's productivity, on a scale of 1-to-10, by the likelihood of him strangling your head coach.