What do I know about fish? Not a lot, but here goes:

They live in the water.

They breathe water through gills, extracting oxygen through a process called aquatic respiration.

For the most part, locomotion in their liquid environment is accomplished by the action of a posterior blade called a “tail fin,” modified by ancillary fins that assist in precise navigation.

They vary in size from very, very small to very large; likewise, their coloration varies widely, ranging from a single color to a riot of iridescent hues.

They travel in “schools,” if their species is so inclined.

While some restaurants serve deep-fried strips of fish called “Fish Fingers,” fish have no fingers.

Chilean Sea Bass is delicious, but alas, endangered.

Perhaps you know more. Well. Bad news.

I might have read the piece if it said “interesting facts about fish” or “Think you know fish? 10 surprising new discoveries” or “Test your Fish IQ” or any other headline that would have shown up in Reader’s Digest in 1979, but this? No.

VotDThe man didn’t want to answer the reporter’s question. So: