Sleep Number CEO Shelly Ibach on how important sleep is to the grieving process

The science that Sleep Number has used in marketing its beds is not just part of a report to CEO Shelly Ibach. She has started talking more publicly and openly about the grieving process — and how quality sleep was central to recovery — after losing her husband, George, in fall 2017 after an 18-month fight with leukemia. "Allowing myself the solace of sleep restored me to myself — I have no doubt about that," Ibach wrote of her journey in an article for Arianna Huffington's Thrive Global online platform. Allowing raw emotion to the surface is hard for Ibach, who is known for her composure on the professional front. She said during her recovery she found that taking care of yourself, eating well, exercising and quality sleep were all necessary to both her personal and work life.

Q: Tell me about your husband George.

A: I met him when I was 19, so we were together for 40 years and married 34. George was a really big spirit, he had so much spirit. He brought joy to everyone around him every day. He had such a light — that positivity and an anything-is-possible-type spirit. He was a dreamer who executed on his dreams. We just had a lot of fun always.

Q: How did he support your dreams and ambitions?

A: He was always so supportive of my career and my life journey, as I was of his. I think that when I reflect on that, we were both so independent yet dependent. That support enabled us to realize our strengths and become the best individuals we could be.

Q: Can you share a little about his leukemia battle?

A: Through his illness, it was such a fight, it was such a battle. We constantly had to re-up that battle through the journey of heavy doses of chemotherapy and then living through a bone-marrow transplant. We always believed he would live. There was never a shadow of a doubt. We found out nine days before he died that he was not going to make it. So it was very much a shock. Again its just those waves of acceptance throughout that journey, I've had a lot of adversity in my life, both personal and business. In reflection, I can see the importance of acceptance in both business and my personal life and how that's allowed me to stay balanced and move forward through the various challenges.

A: We review our contingency plans on an ongoing basis with our board. So that is always in place.

Q: You were out of the office for about five weeks through a combination of bereavement (Sleep Number's policy is a week for immediate family members), vacation days and the Thanksgiving holiday. You were still engaged during that time but how did work get done?

A: Through all of this I have a very strong team — my legacy is building high-performing teams. My team leaned in, everyone leaned in. The operating and the leadership of the business was quite seamless through all of this. Like it often does when you have such a strong team, people grew and achieved new levels of contribution and success. While I was physically out, I was working and highly engaged with my team and business. At Sleep Number, we call this Work for Your Day. We have a culture of flexibility with a connected environment for easy coordination to work wherever and whenever. The keys to its success are communication and accountability.

Q: Why are you now sharing your story more widely?

A: I wanted to share the link between sleep and mental/physical rejuvenation. In this world where most people seek the quick solve, which is often medication, I felt it was important to share an alternative path that is not always obvious to those under the most intense of stress.

A: That's been a big one for me since I lost George. Just really let sleep be natural and letting the sunrise wake me. That has been very spiritual for me. Every day with the rising sun, I feel hope. It is the greeting of a new day, and life. You know, we have one life. I also lost my nephew right before George and recently lost my mom here in March. When you are surrounded by so much loss, it also helps you become acutely aware of living. So every day — and it is a choice — I choose life, and every day with the sunrise I feel hope. Here is a new day, a new beginning and its met for me with gratitude.

Q: What have you learned about grief through this?

A: Grieving is about moving forward and finding graces. It's not about staying where you are. It is about moving forward. It takes on a different form. You are never truly over it. It evolves, it becomes part of you, but that can be in a very gracious and healing way. You want to be present in life, because life is short. You choose who you spend it with, you choose the company you work at, and you choose to share your gifts or learn from others. Those are all important choices to be present for.