Do you believe that Bigfoot walks in the woods of northern Minnesota? A new photo raises the question, but I'm unconvinced. It's entirely possible something that large and controversial can remain unobserved; I haven't checked the ratings for Jesse Ventura's new cable show. But another grainy pic doesn't convince me, and we have been fooled before.
Last year two men said they'd found a dead Bigfoot in Georgia -- either that, or a Wookie killed while filming a "Dukes of Hazard" episode -- and they sold it to a group called "Searching for Bigfoot," reportedly for $50,000. Take my word: If word gets out you're willing to spend 50K for a a unicorn-pegasus painted minty green, someone will come up with a My Little Pony doll with the tip of an ice-cream cone glued on its head. The body was frozen. When the new owners thawed it out, they found they'd bought a rubber ape. Worse: it was 25 feet tall, blue, inflatable, and held a sign that said EASY CREDIT TERMS.
When the scam unraveled, Fox News quoted a critic who said the buyer saw the body "as a way to promote their Bigfoot tracking business." Chew on that for a moment: a Bigfoot tracking business. And the Ghostbusters thought they had a rough first few weeks.
Why people subject themselves to the scoffing they'll get when they say they tawt they taw a Yeti-tat, I don't know. I've no reason to think the fellow up north is pulling anything. However: I'll believe the photos when they're found in the possession of someone who met a brutal end in the woods, and the last 10 pictures on his cell phone consist of a big ape coming closer and closer. Even better if his last Facebook update says, "Think I see a Yeti. Will throw stones at his head and see if he reacts."
Maybe we just need better bait. Put out cans of Hormel chili, a six-pack of Hamm's, a stack of Playboys, a box of White Owl cigars, and see what you get. We might get Sasquatch. We might get someone's Uncle Benny, who's been missing since the fishing season closer. Either way, someone's happy.
jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 • More daily at www.startribune.com/buzz
