Everyone who set foot inside the Orpheum Theatre Friday night for Jerry Seinfeld's sold-out performance knew exactly what they were in for: A show about nothing.

"I'm 55 years old," Seinfeld said at one point. Yes, he's getting older. But as a comedian, little has changed since he rewrote the sitcom universe with his namesake TV show, which reigned for nine seasons until its finale in 1998. While he's appeared in very few movies, reruns of "Seinfeld" appear in syndication every day, where Seinfeld the sitcom star will live forever, eating cereal in his kitchen and talking about nothing with George, Elaine and Kramer.

On Friday, Seinfeld the stand-up star sprinted onto stage. He wore a dark gray suit, crisp white shirt and a blue tie. He seemed genuinely excited to be here. It was a far cry from watching him mill about his sitcom living room wearing the usual jeans-shirt-sneakers combo. On stage, he clenched his teeth, waved his hands around, his eyes often wide with enthusiasm.

Seinfeld is the king of observational comedy -- sometimes to a fault. During his one-hour set, he never dipped into politics, didn't talk about current events, never swore. He didn't talk about anything, really.

But this is what he's good at. He is a master at taking a common daily routine -- talking on the phone, watching TV, eating a Pop Tart -- and stripping it of its normalcy, repackaging its meaning and finding humor where there should be none.

On coffee shops: "People just don't leave. I want to open a coffee shop called 'Beat It.'"

On Blackberry users: "I know you're here -- I'm surprised you're even paying attention."

On kids: "Why would you want someone in your house who craps their pants while looking you right in the eye?" (He has three now.)

Seinfeld made an abrupt finish to his set, only to come running back out for an encore. He wanted to take questions. People asked him about HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (he's currently guest-starring with the rest of the "Seinfeld" cast).

They asked him if he'll ever star in his own show again. He replied: "No. The fact of the matter is -- I'm old and I'm rich and I'm tired." Oddly enough, Seinfeld's set felt a lot like an episode of his old sitcom. It was a show about nothing, told from the perspective of an older (and yes, richer) Seinfeld.

Afterward, he again sprinted across the stage, this time finishing the show for good. He didn't seem tired at all.

Tom Horgen • 612-673-7909