I was talking with a friend who described how his son's basketball team had lost the first three games of a tournament, won the last, and was proclaimed the double consolation champion. I realized if no one wins, there are no winners. Yet a different, more subtle message is that if you lose, you are a loser. In finance, sometimes you have to make choices, but this doesn't have to make you a loser.

We received a call from one of our clients who put a bid on a retirement home. They already had a retirement home that they would soon put on the market, as well as another home in Minnesota. Their enthusiasm for the new place began to dissipate as we worked through the choices they would have to make so the numbers could work. They would have to sell their Minnesota place and rent or give up other vacations. They decided to withdraw their offer.

It's fine that we can't have it all. Parents struggle between staying at home to raise a family and working. Students decide between expensive ­private schools and reasonable public institutions. Working for love or working for money. Each decision requires a give-up. The choice may be the best or the least worst option.

In the everyone-wins world, we lose sight of how important the act of choosing is. When we choose, we become more connected to our values. The rejection of one thing is an acceptance of another. Unlimited yeses can become hollow.

Once the choice is made, it is natural to second-guess ourselves. The story around what could be is often far more compelling than the reality of what is. But it is only a story. Rather than disregard your feelings, explore them. If you move from regret to evaluation, you may decide to choose differently.

Clients moved out of state primarily for tax reasons. They realized after a couple of years that it was too much of a personal compromise for them to meet the requirements to be nonresidents. Most of their social network, as well as their adult children, was here. They reconsidered their decision and moved back.

We can frame certain choices as experiments rather than decisions. In an experiment, you form a thesis, test it, and analyze the results. Bad outcomes are not devastating; they are information. Give yourself permission to make a wrong choice.

My friend's son's team didn't get a trophy for winning its bracket — they wouldn't have been able to fit all those words onto it anyway. In your planning, some losses can be victories.

Spend your life wisely.

Ross Levin is the founding principal of Accredited Investors Inc. in Edina.