Oh, it sounded bad: Rip Torn, 79, arrested for breaking into a bank with a gun. But he was drunk. Boiled as an owl. He thought he was getting into his house; the bank's in the same neighborhood. We've all made that mistake. Well, my alarm sounds different, and I don't remember putting all those desks in the bedroom, but otherwise, this looks right. The gun? He just had it on him. Police say he had a blood alcohol level of "flammable," and Torn says he remembers nothing. His attorney is trying to keep him out of jail:

People like Rip Torn because he was great in the "Men in Black" movies, and has a name that can't possibly be serious. It's like calling someone Trip Fall, or Drink Swallow. But his last name really is Torn. Elmore is is real first name, but according to his bio, the Texas Torns were partial to calling the menfolk Rip. So Rip was a Rip as his daddy had been a Rip before him.

We hope treatment works for him. Bonus PopCrush fact for the day: he's Sissy Spacek's cousin.