I took two airplanes yesterday, and it was the usual drill: get pawed by security, take off your shoes because of that one *($%(#$ idiot almost ten years ago, shove the bag overhead, turn off your solid-state tiny iPod in case it crashes the plane, endure the person in the seat ahead leaning his chair all the way back and pushing the tray into your sternum, then sitting in one place for two hours feeling blood clots form in your leg. Land, repeat. Could have been worse. How? LIKE THIS. Blame New Zealand air. Preparing for a crash has never been so much fun!

It is not necessary to pony when you're evacuating, though.