I can't remember the last time I had Hardee's. Possibly I tripped in the parking lot and hit my head. I can remember the last Hardee's I saw in town: it was off the 10th Avenue Bridge exit on University by the U, right off 35W, and it closed. Let's be very clear: if you cannot make money selling hamburgers close to the highway in an area with many frat houses, something is amiss. Anyway, we're getting fifty-plus new Hardee's, according to this story. Favorite quote:

All the other chains are slapping their foreheads: oh, right! THOSE GUYS! Now, think: is Hardee's the chain with the star? Or is that Carl Jr.? Does the star have a hat? Is the meat flame-seared, or grill-broiled? What's the special aspect that sets Hardees aside? Did you know that Arby's really means R, as in Roast, and B, as in Beef? Try that one on a 10-year old; their eyes widen with amazement. (Save SCUBA and LASER for later. Save FUBAR for high school when they really mess up.)

But I digress from the important issue of additional beef availability. Hardee's is the fifth biggest chain in the country, behind Wendy's; it was founded by Wilbur Hardee in 1960, grew, and got passed around from one big company to the other. It's now merged with Carl's Jr., which is why they both have the star mascot. I'll bet Wilbur's original recipe was tasty, and bears no relation to the current product. From wikipedia:

Nah, that's too far to drive. You can imagine the rationale: let's save money by eliminating our competitive advantage, a discernible flavor that sets us apart. Oops: sales fell off the cliff. Well, let's make the menu more generic. That'll do it.

When all else fails, of course, consolidate! In 1982, the parent company of Hardee's bought Burger Chef from General Mills, which had bought the chain because all the other cool kids had a burger chain. Hardees absorbed Burger Chef while keeping the brand alive here and there, something wikipedia notes it failed to do with Sandy's. (The wikipedia article on Sandy's notes that some stores kept the old hame after the Hardee consolidation, but they last one closed in 1979. Really? There was a Sandy's on the ground floor of the Dinkytown Dome into the 80s, I believe. I'll do some research on that today, if only for the enormous thrill of proving that a wikipedia entry about an obscure defunct hamburger chain may be in error.)

They also owned Roy Rogers, and Rax, a name that should make old-time fast-food roast beef enthusiasts sit up. Rax! I remember them. Used to drive past their store all the time and never stop.It's dizzying, the number of chains providing indistinguishable circular meat-divots. I want to know why we can't have an In-n-Out around here. Or Fatburger?

Here's an ad aimed at the target market, which is stupid young men with poor grooming skills and mannerisms picked up from popular culture. It's called "Sweet Costume, Bro," which makes me want to kick something, because punching the screen has no effect on the author of the title.

Where was this shot? you may ask. That's the Orpheum theater in LA. The building to which the actual Spider-Man affixes his web is the Eastern Buildling, which is actually across the street from the Orpheum: one of those rare examples where they didn't use a building from six blocks away, or Vancouver.

Related: Burger King sells a $200 hamburger.

BAD CHOICE: My sympathy for this man's family is great. For him, not so much.

MISC Only a matter of time before the History Channel comes up with "In Search of Ancient Knickers," or some such title. Anyway, the Daily Mail has a piece on some medieval underwear recently discovered in a pile of detritus, perhaps when a college student returned to the castle, dumped out his laundry out, and Mom never got around to it because the place was besieged. The item in the first picture will probably show up on Madonna's next tour.

By the way, the term "ancient" doesn't really apply to the 15th century, does it? The "ancient" world stopped around 500 CE; after that, it's "the long middle period with wars all over the place, ending when Italians discovered perspective in painting," and then it's the Renaissance. VIDEOSome diversions, short and alarming:

VIDEO: Yes of COURSE there is Japanese psuedo-techno chicken-imitating yodel music; did you have any doubts? (h/t Dave of Cyanide & Happiness)

The video below is called "Failed Attempt to Provoke an Accident." According to the description, it's a common ploy - get on the highway, make someone hit your car, and collect the insurance money. Then it's invested wisely, so the criminals can support themselves without being parasitic drains on the state. Just kidding! They drink it all.

Why this person was filming this in the first place makes me somewhat suspicious.

Have a happy and productive afternoon.